It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
