Where is the hickey?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
