I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
