This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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