her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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