ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I need to stop coming to work sober
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
