Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
you traded sex for a burrito?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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