In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
