Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize