Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
