btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
