I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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