Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
