Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
