and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
