if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
