So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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