i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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