I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
