last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
