It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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