So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Randomize
