The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
How's work?
Spinning.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
