She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
