i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
