He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
