Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
