I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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