You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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