I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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