Will you blow on my dice?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
