I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
