We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
