I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I forget how to act sober
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
