well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
