I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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