It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
