I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
