I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
i dont even know how to be here
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
