You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
