2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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