I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
