Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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