ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
did you just send me my own nude
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
