Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
