apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
