PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
