i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
