In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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