the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Actions speak louder than pants.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
you are never too drunk for berry picking
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
